"May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.”
The last day of 2009, it snowed sparingly. Not the cozy slow-settling deep snowstorms of New Yorks iron-cold winters, which sink on the city like a cool white washcloth on sweat soaked skin, but more a stray morning snowflake coughing-fit from a gruff, grizzled, silver-haired winter sky.
It shimmered in the sun and began to fade slowly away, even before I could get the kids coats on to play outside... By the time we reached the sidewalk, bundled up in coats, hats and gloves, they had to search a bit to find the patches of snow that has not yet melted under the suns' passive gaze. There were round frost skirts in the shade of the oak trees, and mini snow drifts caught on iron fence rails like frosting thrown on by a careless knife. Low leaves on bushes wore their remaining snow politely, like napkins folded in their little green laps, which were blithely swept off by little boy wearing what appeared to be red boxing gloves.
Parked cars were fair game too once it was established that snow on cars is probably public property.
We walked to the library slowly, sliding in slush every once in awhile, and stepping over frosty puddles clutching books almost due, but when we got there, it had closed early for New Years. It didn't really matter much. The air was warmed by the snowfall and we had nowhere pressing to be for that exact moment of time, we walked slowly back home in the dying light.
An industrious man had set up a folding table of New years plastic blowers and trumpets, blinking sunglasses and lurid glitter coated hats. The penetrating honking of his trumpet as he demonstrated his wares, had Dovi making a beeline directly for the table, before I swiftly caught the back of his jacket and hissed at him "Please no".
"Wow," said Adina, raising one eyebrow "He really shouldn't blow those things if he wants people to buy them. He is showing people how horribly annoying they really are." She had a good point right there. I concurred, Dovi didn't but the bright lights of the grocery store distracted him.
I pulled out my yellow post-it-note, and we got our groceries,. I needed fresh vegetables for spring rolls and sweet potatoes to be chopped into fries. Also, cake and buttercream frosting for celebrating New Years, kid style. Dark had come so quickly. The way home was an adventure for Dovi the explorer, lagging behind every couple of steps while he navigated another interesting pile of snow or found a puddle in the escarpment. The most fascinating discoveries was different colored snow. After being sternly warned off yellow snow, he found orange snow and blue snow. I do not even want to know what that was composed of, which is what I told him when he asked.
Supper turned out well. Kellie arrived and we all sat down to watch Pixars new set of short films. Dovi and Adina put a blanket on the floor and even Ollie curled up fluffily, and joined us as we avidly watched progressively more sophisticated short animated films, amazing, both in sheer craftsmanship, technological artistry and sharp wit.
The kids went to bed after the movie, will bellies full of cake and stories.
Kellie and I stayed up and watched a TV show we had been following on DVD together. It was excellent as usual... and so we slipped into the new year in companionable serenity. The blinking of the DVD player at 11.59 reminded me that this year, this entirely life changing year was almost over. it was as year entirely lacking in subtleties, full of raw pain and loss and yet growth, courage and love. It was a year of difficult endings and new truthful beginnings... I looked at her, 2009 had brought me...so much.
A kiss... at midnight.. I don't think I had ever done that before.. and fireworks went off somewhere and Ollie shot under the bed, only poking an anxious nose out around 12.30pm...
I had started the new year with a kiss...imagine that...
i read your first post
ReplyDeletei always like to go to the root. the root is deep in the ground
what if you were handed a apple but you think it ia an orange ?
example peopel who are color blind think green is brown and red is green
should i therfore conclude that brown red is brown or maybe red is blue
I would imagine if I were handed an apple but it tasted like an orange, felt like an orange, then it would be wholly an orange to me. That is, to my personal experience it is actually an orange... Just as you pointed out, color blind people see colors differently. Their experience is different to the accepted norm. How do we even know our shade of green we see, or red, or yellow, is the same in everyone's vision spectrum? You do not have to accept their colors as your own, however if they dared to tell you to see your colors, as they do, you would laugh in their faces.
ReplyDeleteHuman behavior is even less tangible then an object...so, if it feels right in every sense to me, how could another human being decide that my experience is less valid? The themselves are so sure of their own experience, and I am that sure of my experience.
that we were all haded the same thing i think is not anymore the issue as you say it has to with your own interpitaion of what you were handed. how does a person know what is an orange and what is an apple.
ReplyDeletebut i think you main point is your second paragraph. you are looking for others to validate your experience to be accpeted. as you write "how could another .... less valid".
people are free to choose their own life the way they act or behave.if Warren Buffet one of the richest people in the world chooses to live a life being frugal... his choice.
the only difference i would argue with you is that it is YOUR CHOICE.
not what you were handed.
I do respect peoples choice to lead a life they CHOOSE.
See, but how could you know if it is a choice to me, if you yourself have not felt it?
ReplyDeleteIs heterosexuality your choice? Do you honestly only not have sex with the same gender, just because you choose not to?
Isn't it something more completely visceral (from inside yourself) which tells you what feels right to you on a deep level? What makes you think it is any different to me?
I mean you are hiding under the cloak of 'anonymous'... Your choice is to defend whatever teachings without taking formal responsibility for them.
Look, behavior is always a choice...and so is courage.
I know what the religious teachings say. I choose to have the integrity to live truthfully, being what I am and always was.
It is not a choice to be...
You know I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a friend he is 23 years old and moved from New York to china for business and he told me of a very interesting scene he witnessed there
ReplyDeletehe went to lunch with some very wealthy people and they had a special that cost $15,000.00 (us) and that is they eat the brain of a monkey. I thought ok in china they eat many weird foods so big deal and why so much money? He began to explain that they eat this when the monkey is alive the animal it is caged and tied down and they cut the head in front of them and they then eat the brain.
is this a choice they make ? Is this what they were taught? Do we as humans have natural instincts of what we like and don’t? Why do they enjoy eating a monkey’s brain? And the thought disgusts me.
At least I believe that we are all born equal but with different traits some people get angry fast some are kind some are mean some are happy some are sad and the same is to all behavioral traits that we have.
I have no problem with people being gay or lesbian it is their "choice" and I respect it and the reason I say "choice" is that you may say I was born with that tendency I tried being hetro and I tried being gay and I like one over the other yes that is your choice.
The argument you make about religious teaching is irrelevant, religion is just like society, there are certain things accepted in society as normal a person that is mean and angry all the time his behavior is not considered "normal" and he gets treatment. why can I be angry all the time if you don’t like it don’t talk to me what do you care if I am depressed I don’t want to talk with you etc.
and what if my wants are to eat monkeys brains (ok you have the issue with hurting some other living thing or some other person) but i am sure we can find many things that do affect others yes they claim i should stop because society doesn’t accept it
all my ramblings is that we are all created equal (and equal means in life’s opportunities) but not with all traits, and that is our life’s challenge to work on any negative traits. so who determines that?
And the answer is "I" if i like it i do it we live in the "me" times
And I like to smoke and drink and eat why do people bother me
at the end this topic has been debated by many more people smarter then me and i guess it is one of those things that people should just agree to disagree. but i am proud of my "choices" why can you be proud and say "I chose" this and not blame it on " i was born this way "
and hiding behind anonymous is the whole odea of blogging i dont see your name and address and phone posted
I just read that last response after many years.
ReplyDeleteIt’s amusing to me how people with a lack of perspective and humility, continue to insist that their reality, must be everybody else’s reality too. It takes a certain sense of narcissism to not understand that the world is seen through many eyes, and everybody else’s experience is just as legitimate as theirs is.
Also, just because you have a belief system, does not mean others share that same belief system. Religious people should not and do not get to impose their beliefs and their religious values on anybody else.
It still amazes me that homosexuality is still put under a microscope, while the rest of the Bible is so largely ignored.
As for not seeing my name posted, I assume to get here you know who I am and how to reach me. I on the other hand, see nothing but anonymous. So either you have the courage to stand behind your personal argument, by putting your entire identity and reality behind them, or you are in fact all words and no substance, which is frankly worth nothing.